We all know that in order to have a beautiful body we have to train. If somehow we weren’t sure about it yet and we need to convince ourselves and strongly believe in google, we can do a search. Looking for information on how we can reach a beautiful body we will find hundreds of pages with exercises and exercise programs. Why not follow the same pattern when it comes to relationships? Here is a program to develop our relationship. You can try, in the worst case – nothing of what you have today will change, and in the best – your relationship will radiate happiness and love!
1. Restart good habits from the past
As the months and years have passed since we have been together, we become lazy and do nothing for the relationship. We let everything go by itself, in any direction possible. We lose our patience, tenderness, understanding, and any other effort we used to make for each other. Let’s remember the first months (or years) since we were together. Try to write down what you were doing then for your partner. Why did you stop? Now it’s time to start all those activities again!
2. Ask and you will receive
Over time, we assume that our partner knows us down to the smallest detail. We are convinced that she or he understands us with her or his eyes and we don’t need to tell her or him anything. Not receiving what we expected, we get upset, but who is to blame? How can the other person understand what we wanted if we didn’t verbalize that? Remember, talking about what you want is essential and it doesn’t matter if it is emotional or sexual desire.
3. Learn your partner in small details
Think about who your partner really is, what she or he likes and dislikes (physically and emotionally). We can believe that our partner wants one thing, when in fact her or his tastes are completely different. Remember, if something is important to your partner, it doesn’t necessarily have to make sense to you. If you want to please her or him, you will get involved without questions and clarifications, for only one reason – she or he likes it.
4. Finish asking “How was your day?”
At the end of a busy day, we mentally analyze what has happened in our lives and our relationship. So, we limit ourselves to standard phrases “How was your day?”. In general, this boring question is complemented by an equally boring answer: “Normal, but yours?”. This exchange of remarks has nothing to do with improving the relationship or communication in the relationship. You might ask, “What made you smile today?” or “What was the most challenging part of the day?” You will be amused by the answer you will receive.
5. The weekend is a time to be spent together!
Start by discussing what marked you last week and plan your next activities. In addition, it is a good reason to find common free-time in your schedules. Likewise, during a soul discussion (the most wonderful being at night), share desires to be reached in the following days, weeks, or months related to both of you and your relationship. Thus, without a certain intention, but changing ideas, we control the temperature, the needs and reinvent the relationship.
6. Keep the temperature
What would happen if both you and your partner worked to improve the behaviors you consider beautiful and diminish the others? Beautiful behaviors can refer to any compartment of life: from everyday habits (how you make coffee, how you eat ice cream, how you dress) to “heroic deeds” in the kitchen, bathroom, or bedroom. Discuss what “right temperature” means for your relationship, refer to concrete behaviors. Astonish and inspire each other!
7. Be creative
Don’t be afraid to go out of style! Don’t limit yourself to food and watching movies, go beyond the ordinary. Look for what would represent you as a couple, something personalized. You can start by reading “dating ideas” or, if you have enough courage, imagination, and love, you can anticipate a pleasant surprise for your partner. Details count.
8. The need for affection
Time spent with your loved one also involves intimacy, an indispensable component of the romantic relationship. We have moments when holding hands, touching, and caressing are all we want, and other times an extra touch does not bring us anything pleasant. Great when partners feel the same and at the same time have the same needs. But certainly, this does not happen as often as we would like. What do we do if our partner needs affection now and we are not willing? Remember that the minutes spent with your loved one, when she or he needs it, matter too much to refuse. And if you can’t and don’t want to give them to her or him at all, make sure you initiate or accept attention as soon as possible.
9. Be present
Life and work require too much energy and take too much time, what about your partner? Learn to practice the art of “wearing the hat of the relationship.” This would mean that in the moments we spend with our loved one we are fully present there, hearing and listening to what we are being told, actively participating in the dialogue, leaving the phone, and any other distractions aside.
10. Take “quarrel breaks”
When you feel like your patience it’s almost over and you are ready to explode, but before you cross the boundary from where you won’t be able to return, one or both of you may resort to “quarrel breaks” to let your emotions subside. In this sense, we can specify a certain time strictly dedicated to solving the problem.
11. Try to understand the real feelings
We communicate superficially with anyone, in conflicts and unpleasant situations. Emotions, annoyance, and irritation come to the first plan. Analyzing the relationship from this given perspective, confusion arises, as we do not understand where all that was beautiful disappeared. But communicating from the deep level, we can decipher what was the basis of these negative manifestations. This way of expression awakens in the other empathy because it requires honesty and a vulnerability to share. The tension will dissipate and solutions can emerge spontaneously. It is important to use phrases from non-violent communication. We’ll say, “I was upset when you….” Instead of “You’re a bastard”
12. Try to understand, not just agree
Elementary in definition and complicated in action. Conversations quickly turn into arguments when we want to change the other person’s opinion. Choose to see the conversation as an opportunity to understand the other person’s perspective. In this way we have an interesting dialogue, preventing the explosion of frustration.
13. Make your forgiveness counted
It is well known that forgiveness is a good thing, but it only has an impact when we really consider what we are saying. Saying things like, “I’m sorry you felt that way,” or “I’m sorry you saw it that way,” we’re wasting our time. By not accepting the idea that you were wrong, you cannot be forgiven. Accept and draw conclusions: your behavior made your partner feel that way and from here, a real excuse will have a real impact. When you love your partner and hurt him/her (intentionally or unintentionally), you apologize for your actions, which were understood in the way they were, no matter what you think about them.
Good luck, energy, and love!
Source:
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-13321/13-tips-to-make-a-good-relationship-great.html
One or Another 